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BloodyMess

Llama4Llama <3
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Cause I lived in the nicer part of town but pay less then half of what places are going for...
The new fiasco, my newly caving in and leaking roof.
This is the 3rd time my roof has leaked in 6 months (different spot tho) My alcoholic neighbor almost started 2 fires in the last year and a half. I watched that same neighbor get shit kicked in his own apartment threw my peep hole. And just a few weeks ago when I was coming home from doing research the dumpster in the back lane was on fire. Melted the side of the garage.
Basically since I've lived there its been nothing but stress, and that's just scratching the surface.

Call the landlord you say? I did, he fixed the leak, said we would have to let it dry for him to paint. Because there was previous water damage I had put a curtain up on the ceiling to cover it cause it was nasty. Did I mention the leak is right over my bed? Thank god for that curtain, cause I have chunks of ceiling in it,
So the next day I called him and he dodged my calls. So I called the health inspector, he's coming in the next 7-10 business days. I also sent a letter filing report for repairs to be fixed by October 31, 2012. I spoke with the on site rep who is also a tenant. He told me our landlord is in the hospital (he usually does all the work) and that he was going to go talk to him tomorrow about my roof. I asked him to keep me in the loop cause I would be speaking to the board.

Move you say? Too poor, can't. I would need a roommate. Can't find one. No one needs to move, or the ones that do, I don't think I could live with.
What am I do to? I want to leave that place so bad, its like a black halo over the whole place.
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Costumes

1 min read
I've been sewing a lot lately, making a faerie costume.

We'll see how this goes.

I just realized I made it see-threw... Oops?
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By myself

3 min read
One night I worked in the OR; my regular shift until 11pm. There was a show at a local bar, my normal "friends" where not going. I've been a little upset with them lately, seeing other sides and true colours. But I had my ex and his new fling (who I actually like/they are not together anymore) begging me to come, it was also a few friends birthday celebrating that night. One was my ex, the other was a promoter I know (he put on the show), love that guy.
So I went after work, arrived before midnight, stayed sober all night, and from the moment I walked in the door, I was never alone. I knew half the people in the bar. They may not have been my tight knit of friends that I usually hang out with, but they were friends. Standing in line for drinks and having conversations with people in front and behind you; I bought the birthday boys their drinks, and spent an hour talking to a girl who I've been spending more one on one time with.
The show was on and I was always dancing and talking with friends, goofing around and being social, being sober, dancing to the DJ til I sweat, made out with 7 ladies, left the bar with 4 of them and my ex (whose house we where going to).
We got there and I ended up in the bedroom with 3 of them and my ex in the living room; his birthday high and drunk as fuck and I'm pretty sure it was his bedroom we were all in. I refused to sleep with him.
I left and went to go pick up a friend of mine when he was off work. We stayed up until the sun came up just talking at my place. He spent the night in my bed and we didn't even kiss, we cuddled for a bit but didn't sleep that way. He is my best friend.

I realize this doesn't happen to people very often, yet I seem to be placed in situations like this almost on a monthly basis. This or a variation of this. I gotta stop going out but there's a Zeds Dead/Omar LinX/Mat the Alien/Knight Riders show on the 28th and I don't have school the next day... Ugh, I want... So badly... but tickets are like 40$, attendance is at 950ppm, and I would be going alone, again...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgPlzD…
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Only fools love

1 min read
I used to believe that if two people really, honestly and truly loved each other, that they could make it work.
No matter what.











I feel like such an idiot.
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:bulletred: Hey guys, before I get into anything...
:bulletorange: Llama for llama (if you want to thank me, that's cool, but please respect the llama4llama exchange )
:bulletyellow: I'm down to do a collab with peoples if you are. Note me, we'll set something up.
:bulletgreen: I wont be uploading much stuff for a while. Since I have windows 7 and my scanner only works with XP, (and I broke up with my ex) I no longer really have the ability to upload anything. If I draw something I'm totally in love with, then I will prolly take a picture. But, other then that, scanners cost money I don't have.

~:bulletblack:~:bulletblack:~:bulletblack:~:bulletblack:~:bulletblack:~:bulletblack:~

:bulletblue: Okayyy... Well things got complicated quickly.
:bulletpurple: So my ex, well he gave me a message yesterday and long story short tells me he still has "deep feelings" for me and that its hard for him to be around me cause he still wants me. But he wants to be friends and get on chilling terms before festivals so that when we party together in the festivals its not so akward. Okay? Really? You have deep feelings for me and you can't stand to see me, but you wanna go for coffee so we can chill at festivals? Huh? The festivals are big and you can easily loose me. What do you care?
:bulletred: So I agreed to it. I miss him. Its bad. I want to get back together with him but it's not going to happen any time soon. Whatever, I'm doing my own thing to get over him. We'll see how this coffee thing goes.
:bulletorange: So my friend who I've been kissing (Diesel)... Him and I went to the pits this morning and chilled out. Things have been a little weird between us, I felt like I was back in a relationship. I know I'm not, but it feels that way. We are so close and to add a physical feature to our friendship that wasn't there before... I mean I like it but I'm not ready for it. especially since I can't stop thinking about my ex. So I voiced my concern, said I'm sorry but its too soon for us to be doing this. He says he understands.
:bulletyellow: Diesel says that he wants me to be in his life for a long time. I wouldn't mind him in my life, but I told him... I'm not dating guys for a while. I mean, emotionaly. I may date to fuck, but not to get involved. When school starts this year I'm gunna be doing that for three years and then I might just leave the country. So, really. I don't want him to "wait" or feel like he's waiting for me, cause I cant commit to anything. I just want to date some guys, have a little fun, maybe a threesome or two, and then buckle down for school. And purge all my friends.
:bulletgreen: So he says he understands and that it sucks, yeah it does. Timing is bad. Whatever. He says he'll be my friend threw that time, we'll see. So many guys say things to me and dont mean it, or they change their mind. He's a friend first, yes, but 3 years is a long time for me to be in school and not see anyone. But I need it. I can't do another relationship right now. Even tho I miss Loney so much =(
:bulletblue: My dreams have been pretty lucid lately. Sometimes I'm not sure if they are real or not. I had a dream with my eyes open, and when I woke up I saw things change in front of my eyes.
:bulletpurple: So last night I had a dream and it started with me in a field with lots of grass like Irish fields. And there was castles to my left. Lots of castles close together. Then I was around the castles taking pictures of the scenery. All of a sudden there is a ghost and I know its here I can sense it, but I don't see it. I'm scared. All of a sudden I'm back in my bed in my room. I can still hear the ghost, its laughing evily at me. I try to pull the covers over my head, and I can see my arms going down to pull it over my head but I can't grab onto the blanket. I look up and I see my tall dresser. The door opens on its own and all of a sudden the laughter becomes louder and it sounds like an evil clown laugh now. It gets louder and louder and I can sense the ghost coming towards me while I'm still lying in my bed. It wasn't until it is literally a foot away from me and the laughter was soo loud that I woke up. And I saw nothing change, only the laughter stoped. My room was still the same, same lighting, my pictures were where I had left them, but now my dresser door was closed. I was scared when I woke up, I felt unnerved. I couldn't fall back asleep that night.
:bulletred: I don't know what it means. Why is everything fucking with me? Even my mind...
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Featured

I always knew I was poor... lol by BloodyMess, journal

Costumes by BloodyMess, journal

By myself by BloodyMess, journal

Only fools love by BloodyMess, journal

Last night I had a dream with my eyes open by BloodyMess, journal